For more than five years I was savagely tossed between the extremes of mania and depression. The bridge of normalcy was terrifyingly short. As a rapid cycler, I spent most of my days living with one of the extremes of my illness. I craved the first days of mania…euphoria and magnificent possibilities…If only there was a freeze-frame to those initial moments of lift-off. Too soon my thoughts began to race beyond my control. No one could understand what I was talking about because I shifted gears from first to fourth with no pause for second or third. Talk, talk, talk…I must have driven those in my life crazy, those trying to chart my course were lost at sea, and often returned to a safe harbor rather than ride out the storm of my insanity. I hope there is forgiveness for my tortured soul in the hearts of those who once cared for me, but were driven away after witnessing the black waves of my self-destruction.