For more than five years I was savagely tossed between the
extremes of mania and depression. The bridge of normalcy was terrifyingly
short. As a rapid cycler, I spent most of my days living with one of the
extremes of my illness. I craved the first days of mania…euphoria and
magnificent possibilities…If only there was a freeze-frame to those initial
moments of lift-off. Too soon my thoughts began to race beyond my control. No
one could understand what I was talking about because I shifted gears from
first to fourth with no pause for second or third. Talk, talk, talk…I must have
driven those in my life crazy, those trying to chart my course were lost at
sea, and often returned to a safe harbor rather than ride out the storm of my
insanity. I hope there is forgiveness for my tortured soul in the hearts of
those who once cared for me, but were driven away after witnessing the black
waves of my self-destruction.
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